New City, New You!🕺
But, like... not really.
Happy Thursday, my Dearest Twenty-Somethings! Hope everyone’s hanging in there through these chaotic times. At least it’s Women’s History Month!
This week, let’s address a reader-submitted query: “I'm moving to a new city from California. Give me all the tips and tricks for jumping into a new city!” Shall we?
So many twenty-somethings are choosing where they want to be for their lives, or at least their youth, and I know so many pals making major moves these days. Kudos! It’s no easy feat. You know I’m the No. 1 supporter of shooting your shot, doing things that scare you, and living your best main character life. (Don’t die in your hometown, baby!).
I do think there’s a romanticized notion that moving to a new city will give you everything you’ve ever dreamt of and you’ll suddenly be living in your favorite rom-com. And it’s entirely possible! I know that’s how I felt before I moved to NYC.
But what I’ll say is this: Home is wherever you are! And as my queen Lana Del Rey once said: So I moved to California, but it's just a state of mind. It turns out everywhere you go, you take yourself! Lana, I couldn’t agree more.
Like most things in this life, it is what you make of it! You can move to a new city and have the time of your life or, conversely, you can absolutely hate it. I do think most of that is up to you and how you decide to settle into your new home. We create our own reality, after all. (Jed, I know you’ll appreciate that one.)
Anywho, I asked you all what your best tips are for moving to a new city and squeezing every drop out of it—and like always, y’all delivered! Without further ado, your best tips:
Try to say yes to literally every invitation! Even when you’re tired and would rather stay in or had a shitty day at work, it’s important to nurture your friendships and push yourself to try new things.
Now is a perfect time to clean out all the stuff you don't need! Buy cold weather clothing before you need it - both so that you're warm, and so it isn't full price.
Go on a ton of dates (even friend dates) in the beginning and say yes to EVERYTHING!
Have at least $5K saved up! (Especially if you’re moving to NYC!)
Play the nearest golf course and enjoy the nature of your new environment!
Get uncomfortable with finding community! Do the work upfront, even if it feels painful.
Don’t get overwhelmed. Connect with Nextdoor in your area and ask questions—easiest way to learn the new and important things in your city. Good luck!
Join a rec sports league (if that’s your thing) to make friends!
Say yes to everything and experience as much as you can!
Find yummy restaurants that are consistently good so you have something reliable in a new city.
Go to your local coffee shop or park and look around at the flyers. Find a comedy show or another event or club that looks interesting to you. There are people who you have more in common with than you think! And everyone wants to make friends.
Figure out public transit early on! You’ll thank yourself later.
Join club sports or try out art classes like pottery to meet new people.
Get a pet!
Join a group that lets you connect with strangers through a common interest, like music, poetry, board games, running, etc.
If you have the chance, visit ahead of time. Do touristy tours like speakeasies and buses that you think sound fun!
Join the public library! Great thing to do and also a great place for people-watching.
Find a realtor. Landlords cover their fees and realtors can find you great hidden gems.
Find a friend or even a distant acquaintance in the city and ask for advice on what you want to know about, like neighborhoods, public transit, finding apartments, safety, etc. People are excited to help!
Look at Eater or other lists of best restaurants to try.
Try any way you can to meet people: dog parks, trivia nights, work happy hours, etc. Don’t be afraid to try things that seem scary! Everyone was knew there once.
Find yourself a coffee shop AND a wine bar. Find your table, tailor your order, become a regular.
If you’re bored or lonely, chug a canned wine and hop on public transit for fun.
Give it time! Not even the best city for you will feel like home right away.
Don’t be afraid to explore on your own! Get that table for one, sis!
Hot tip: Move to Seattle and you’ll love it! Then you’ll never have to move again! (LOL.)
Visit there first and be somewhere close to your hobbies! For example, being near the beach if you love to surf.
Be REALLY PICKY when deciding on roommates and your housing/location if you can. It’s worth it!
NEVER LOOK BACK.
So, we have some clear themes: SAY YES TO EVERYTHING; give yourself some time, it’s not going to be easy at first; try new things. But it’ll be so worth it! And, of course, all of these things are possible to do in your hometown or the city you’ve been in for 10 years too. 🥰
I just want to take a moment and say I’m so grateful for this little internet community we’ve built together—you have all showed up time after time, and I really hope these tips can help someone feel a little more at home in their new digs. Thank you all ALWAYS!
I’d love to know: What’s the best career advice you’ve ever received? Twenty-somethings, thirty-somethings, sixty-somethings—what do you wish you knew in your twenties? Let me know here!
Want to ask me for advice? I’m no expert, but it could be fun. Ask away here!
In case you were wondering, I’ve been getting through winter with my Life is Good playlist, which you can find here. With that, here are a few picks to get you through the week:
Humans of New York - I’m sure most of you already follow, but I’m OBSESSED with today’s thread. Nothing like a fraud!
111wallflowereads - This bookstagram has it all: great reads, memes, playlists, tunes—and has a to-die-for aesthetic. (Hate that I said that, but here we are.)
“Small Kindnesses” by Danusha Laméris
I’ve been thinking about the way, when you walk
down a crowded aisle, people pull in their legs
to let you by. Or how strangers still say “bless you”
when someone sneezes, a leftover
from the Bubonic plague. “Don’t die,” we are saying.
And sometimes, when you spill lemons
from your grocery bag, someone else will help you
pick them up. Mostly, we don’t want to harm each other.
We want to be handed our cup of coffee hot,
and to say thank you to the person handing it. To smile
at them and for them to smile back. For the waitress
to call us honey when she sets down the bowl of clam chowder,
and for the driver in the red pick-up truck to let us pass.
We have so little of each other, now. So far
from tribe and fire. Only these brief moments of exchange.
What if they are the true dwelling of the holy, these
fleeting temples we make together when we say, “Here,
have my seat,” “Go ahead — you first,” “I like your hat.”
Affirmation of the week: I am open to the magic that each new beginning brings.
Question of the week: Do you tend to embrace or resist change?
Thank you all for reading this week’s newsletter! I’m always looking to improve my work, so leave a comment, send me a message, or fill out this form to tell me what you want to read about in upcoming Dear Twenty-Somethings! Also, if you know anyone who might be a good interviewee for the newsletter, let me know in the form. I’m all ears. Thank you always!
If you liked what you read, send this newsletter to a friend! Heck, send it to 10 friends! Sending love and light to you, wherever you are. 🌟
Cheers & happy Thursday! Stay well and I’ll talk to you next week.
xoxoxo, Quinnie <3