What You Water GROWS, Baby!🌼
Where is your energy best spent?
If you couldn’t already tell, I’m a mantra queen and these are two of my all-time favorites: What you water GROWS and, conversely, Grass grows where you water it.
So, what does that mean for us Twenty-Somethings?
Wherever you give your time, energy and attention, it will flourish. Now, this is a beautiful thing if you can direct it where you want it to be. I spoke a lot about habits last week and discussed how us Twenty-Somethings are fortunate in that many of us have been able to spend time in quarantine reflecting on how we can better ourselves. Perhaps you (successfully) attempted Dry January or you’ve stopped snacking after 10 p.m. or you’ve made it a part of your routine to go on a run every morning. These are all amazing steps in the right direction! Mindset is everything—and it drives behavior, according to wellness coach Naz Beheshti in an article on self-care that I edited yesterday.
The physical actions follow a mindset shift; one which Beheshti describes as going from “should” to “must.” You’ll only prioritize something if it’s on your “must-do” list—otherwise, it falls to the wayside. What do you want to prioritize on your journey to self-growth? In other words, what must you choose to water?
Maybe you’re watering a habit or a relationship. If you practice complete honesty with yourself, you should be able to identify which of these plants drain you and which ones energize you.
Simply put: If you keep watering dead grass, how will the grass that matters ever grow? Maybe you’ve been meaning to start a new side project or get back in the gym. I’m no productivity expert, but I’ve made it a point to prioritize what matters most to me, and to let my actions follow suit. You’re the only one standing in your own way.
Write it down. Tell a friend. Make a plan. Hold yourself accountable.
Spending another second of your time and valuable energy is another second not put towards what really matters. Figuring out what you actually value is a whole ‘nother process, but I’ll talk about that soon. 😉
🚨 THIS IS AN ENERGY CONSERVATION CHECKPOINT 🚨
Stop watering dead flowers! Please, I’m begging you! Maybe it’s a toxic friend or a lame boy who isn’t reciprocating your energy. Stop giving them the satisfaction! Conserve your energy. When someone shows you exactly who they are, believe them. I really think you’ll like how you feel once you realize what in your life no longer deserves your breath.
Another mantra, in case my point didn’t hit home hard enough:
My love is unconditional, but your presence in my life is not.
The moment you prove that your value of me does not measure up to my sense of self-worth, I’ll have no problem unconditionally loving the memory of you and move on.
This helped me let go of things and people I was afraid of letting go of. Your energy is sacred, and people who don’t value it as much as you do aren’t worth your time. It’s a hard pill to swallow, but not everyone deserves your energy, no matter how much you care for them!
A final tidbit I thought you’d all appreciate… I have this mantra hanging on my wall, which just so happened to be my dazzlingly corny high school senior quote:
Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. - Veronica A. Shoffstall
For context, my mom made me go with this quote over RiFF RAFF’s: I would go on vacation, but my whole life’s a weekend. Thanks, Susan!
Happy Wednesday, everyone. Here are a few picks to get you through the week:
LISTEN:
“Yah / Element” by Joy Crookes - Yes, I shared this on my Instagram story. But that’s so that all of my beautiful followers will listen to this flawless cover of Kendrick Lamar’s Pulitzer-winning hit. Enjoy!
“I Am (feat. Flo Milli)” by Yung Baby Tate - Talk about a mantra! This one makes me feel powerful. Plain and simple.
“Sundress” by A$AP Rocky - This is another one of my all-time feel-good songs. The Tame Impala sample just speaks to my soul and gives me bright summer day energy, even when there’s, say, a blizzard outside.
LAUGH:
READ:
i-D: “Why ‘thrift flipping’ clothes isn't as ethical as it seems” - I pretty much exclusively shop via Depop online when I do buy clothes. I’m always trying to live a life parallel to my values—and damn, this article offered a unique perspective.
Atomic Habits by James Clear - I talked about this book enough last week, but I wanted to formally recommend it. I’m a creature of habit as we know, and we can all benefit from Clear’s insights and actionable tips.
WATCH:
Promising Young Woman - I though this was going to be too heavy for me and it… was? But also very powerful. Really heavy stuff here, but a superstar performance from Carey Mulligan. Watch at your own risk!
Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen - If you haven’t seen this one in a minute, I suggest you re-watch. There’s something about watching movies set in NYC, but this one also brings me back to my humble drama queen beginnings. Indulge ya self!
Yoga with Adriene: Total Body Yoga - Deep Stretch - I do this 45-minute yoga practice (it’s really more of a stretch sesh) at least two or three times a week, and it hits the spot every. Single. Time. Move that body, baby!
LOVE:
Perry Boyce Citrus + Mint Candle - No, I don’t get a percentage of purchases. I’m just obsessed with this scent and think everyone needs one.
Sleeping Eye Mask - Living in a super bright room with dainty lace curtains for ~aesthetics~ means I need an eye mask or I won’t sleep a wink. This one is crazy comfy and truly makes my bedtime routine that much cozier.
NYX Vivid Brights Eyeliner - Honestly, I don’t know what I’d do without these. I have green, blue and purple and they throw a little funky into any look. The super thin tip glides the color on effortlessly and smoothly. Have some fun, live a little!
COOK:
Smashed Cucumber Salad - I swear, I dream about these delicious cucumbers. The perfect combination of crunch, spice and sesame. Say less!
Chia Pudding - There are so many variations of this delicious treat, which you can put on top of a smoothie bowl, eat as a dessert, or have on its own for breakfast. I prefer coconut milk because it adds a little more natural sweetness, plus the protein from the chia seeds keeps me goin’ all day!
CONSIDER:
“Keep this thought handy when you feel a fit of rage coming on—it isn’t manly to be enraged. Rather, gentleness and civility are more human, and therefore manlier. A real man doesn’t give way to anger and discontent, and such a person has strength, courage, and endurance—unlike the angry and complaining. The nearer a man comes to a calm mind, the closer he is to strength.” - Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 11.18.5b
Question of the week: Did anything ever happen in your life that seemed like the end of the world at the time, but in hindsight you’re grateful for it?
Thank you ALWAYS for supporting me, my Dearest Twenty-Somethings! What do you want to read about in next week’s newsletter? Shoot me a message, I’m all ears! Connect with me on Twitter, LinkedIn, Goodreads or online if you feel so inclined.
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Cheers & happy Wednesday! See ya next week.
xoxoxo, Quinnie <3