How We Spend Our Days...🤸♀️
Is how we spend our lives!
Hello, my beautiful Twenty-Somethings!
Something I’ve heard time and time again from recent college grads and older Twenty-Somethings alike is about finding what you actually like to do. Not career-wise, but on a personal level. Like, we’re just supposed to have hobbies to pass the time with, apparently? Interesting.
We go from spending all of our time in class, in the library and trying to fit in a social life to having an open evening (if we’re lucky), and weekends that we need to fill with activities, hobbies and pastimes. But how do we even know what we like if we haven’t ever really gotten a chance to explore extracurriculars that won’t earn us any credits? And how on Earth will we ever answer the dreaded question: “What do you like to do for fun?” without a blank stare?
In past newsletters, I’ve talked about habits and watering the plants that deserve your energy, and this all brings me to one of my favorite mantras of all time:
How we spend our days is how we spend our lives.
I first read this Annie Dillard quote in Anne Bogel’s Don’t Overthink It in the context of anxiety, overthinking, and self-induced stress. The idea is that if we spend all of our time stressing ourselves out and worrying about each and every little thing that’s out of our control, that’s how we’ll spend our lives.
If we’re spending our time waiting for boys to text us (life hack: put his text convo on “Do Not Disturb.” You’re welcome!) or arguing over petty roommate business or even counting down the seconds until bedtime—that’s exactly how we’ll spend our lives. Obviously, resisting these habits is much easier said than done, but it’s just something to think about.
Further, this connects to the hobbies we collect and curate in our twenties. When I first moved to Brooklyn five days after my college graduation, knowing only a handful of people, I wasn’t sure what to do with my time. I was spending over an hour a day on the Subway, so I decided to start reading during my commute, something I never made time for in college. And wow! Would you look at that; who would’ve thought I’d become an avid reader as I started my new adult life?
Now, reading isn’t exactly a life-altering, creative, inspiring craft (I mean, it is, but…), though it’s absolutely helped me to try new things. It’s taught me to, as I like to say, sample all the flavors. You never know what you might like until you try it yourself. Perhaps you’ve wanted to try your hand at writing poetry or start your own jewelry shop on Etsy or rollerblade around the block. What’s stopping you?!
Life is short and there are only so many hours in a day—and even less once we’ve sold our souls to The Man. The next time you’re going to grab the remote or sign into Netflix, why don’t you flick through some Facebook groups, run to the craft store, find your new favorite recipe or watch a tutorial on how to do a funky graphic eyeliner or how to draw a dragon. Find what energizes you and squeeze every drop out of it. What else is there to do in this life?
If you need a little push, let this be your reminder to try new things! You just might find a new passion of yours. You’re the only one standing in your own way, sis!
And with that, here are a few picks to get you through the week:
LISTEN:
“So Good At Being in Trouble” by Unknown Mortal Orchestra - Yet another song that makes me feel biiiiig summertime energy! Bop around your room to this one. You can thank me later.
“The Thrill” by Wiz Khalifa - OK, you’ve all heard this catchy Empire of the Sun sample from like 2011, but it’ll never not put me in a glowing, blissed-out mindset. We are always running for the thrill of it, amirite?
“Lost One” by Jazmine Sullivan - Get in ya feelings for this one! This is my favorite song off of Jazmine’s much-anticipated fourth album, and the whole collection is worth a listen. Enjoy!
READ:
The Cut: “The Eco–Yogi Slumlords of Brooklyn” - Sigh. What a wild, wild read. I’ll leave it at that.
Vice: “The People the Suburbs Were Built for Are Gone” - It’s been interesting seeing all of the think pieces about how cities and suburbs are changing for the long-run in the post-COVID world. But, what even is a suburb? Read to find out.
Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro - I finished this book a few weeks ago, and I’m still not sure how I feel about it. I liked the author’s writing style, and it was just withholding enough to keep me hanging on until the end. Also, apparently it’s been made into a movie. Let me know what y’all think.
The Social Distance Project - One of my favorite ~media women~, Meg Zukin, launched this amazing project, asking the public to submit relationship drama stories in the COVID era. Scroll away!
WATCH:
Best In Show - I very much feel like a Twenty-Something as I recommend this one, because I just saw it recently for the first time. Hysterical The Office-esque dry comedy (I KNOW this is pre-Office) and an all-star cast that’ll keep you ugly chuckling for hours. *Chef’s kiss!*
Netflix’s Casting JonBenét - This 2017 documentary (kind of?) takes an untraditional approach to telling the story of the much-speculated murder of 6-year-old JonBenét Ramsey in Boulder, Colorado in 1996. We still don’t know who did it. Watch this!
LAUGH:
LOVE:
Lush Sleepy Body Lotion - I bought this for my mom for Christmas but the lavender scent was too much for her, so she gifted it back to me. It’s the little wins! It really is a delicate, soft, buttery lotion. Again, thanks Susan!
Glass Wall Plant Vases - I have all of my climbing pothos cuttings in these lovely glass vases that hang on my walls, and it’s such a look. Decorate your room, it’s your sanctuary!
Girl Scout Cookies - Well, obviously. But if you click this link, you can order from a troop that specifically serves homeless girls in NYC who are going through the NYC Shelter system. (P.S. Samoas or Tagalongs are the only sane GSC choices.)
COOK:
Garlic Smashed Potatoes - My mouth is watering just thinking about these. Garlicky, crispy on the outside, soft on the inside… Need I say more? Do yourself a favor and make these ASAP.
Garlic Tomato Onion Relish - Are you sensing a theme here? Garlic belongs anywhere and everywhere. This one is quick, easy, and goes on everything. YUM!
CONSIDER:
“I Thought That I Could Not Be Hurt” by Sylvia Plath
I thought that I could not be hurt;
I thought that I must surely be
impervious to suffering —
immune to mental pain
or agony.
My world was warm with April sun
my thoughts were spangled green and gold;
my soul filled up with joy, yet felt
the sharp, sweet pain that only joy
can hold.
My spirit soared above the gulls
that, swooping breathlessly so high
o’erhead, now seem to brush their whir-
ring wings against the blue roof
of the sky.
(How frail the human heart must be —
a throbbing pulse, a trembling thing —
a fragile, shining instrument
of crystal, which can either weep,
or sing.)
Then, suddenly my world turned gray,
and darkness wiped aside my joy.
A dull and aching void was left
where careless hands had reached out to destroy
my silver web of happiness.
The hands then stopped in wonderment,
for, loving me, they wept to see
the tattered ruins of my firmament.
(How frail the human heart must be —
a throbbing pulse, a trembling thing —
a fragile, shining instrument
of crystal, which can either weep,
or sing.)
Question of the week: When was the last time you tried something new?
Thank you ALWAYS for supporting me. I’m constantly looking to improve my work, so leave a comment or send me a message about what you want to read about in the next Dear Twenty-Somethings! Connect with me on Twitter, LinkedIn, Goodreads or online if you feel so inclined. And check out last week’s newsletter here in case you missed it.
If you liked what you read, send this newsletter to a friend! Heck, send it to 10 friends! Sending love and light to you, wherever you are. 🌟
Cheers & happy Wednesday! See y’all next week.
xoxoxo, Quinnie <3