It's the Little Things 🌸

How do you remind yourself you're that b*tch?

Happy Wednesday, my dearest Twenty-Somethings! I hope everyone’s hanging in there.

This week, I’d like to talk about the little things—life’s simple pleasures. What makes you feel like your big, bad self when you’re in a funk? What are your favorite things to do that lift you up no matter how down you are?

One of my mother’s gorgeous poppies! Check out more of my flicks here.

I’ve spoken a lot about squeezing every drop out of your twenties as you possibly can—but this defining decade isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. Some days (or weeks or months), we feel down. And that’s okay! Normal, even! I’m not sure what’s happening in the stars (could it be the new moon in Aries?), but when I feel bummy, I like to remind myself of everything that makes me feel like me again.

I’m all for establishing healthy habits, which are especially important for when we’re feeling high and low. Of course, in true Virgo fashion, I keep a list in my journal and on my phone of everything that reminds me how beautiful this life is. Some people use gratitude journals or exercises, and those have the same effect. It really is the little things in this life! Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens and all that. In case you need some inspo, here’s what makes me feel alive:

• Reading a good book with a candle lit (find my new fave below!)

• A warm vanilla latte

• Checking in with myself via a long journal entry

• Listening to music that reminds me of home (Mac Dre, Lil Debbie, Too $hort, Grateful Dead)

• Going for a long solo drive with music blasting and my windows down!

• A quality roof sunset/rise

• A delicious homemade meal (my go-to is sesame noodles with tofu!)

• Doing my makeup & getting dressed up (not wearing any makeup during quarantine has really made getting glam more fun—look good, feel good, baby!)

• Glitter!

• A bouquet of fresh-cut flowers (I’ve been on a tulip kick as of late)

• My nightly bedtime routine

• Taking a sunny solo walk

• A good hat!

• A mega moisturizing face mask

• A day spent sunning at the beach with my pals

• Simply wearing a satin slip dress with platform sandals!

• Watching one of my favorite movies (i.e., The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind or Forrest Gump)

• Cooking something that reminds me of home

• A little retail therapy (typically a sports bra, cream blush, rings, a plant or a candle)

• Putting said cream blush on my nose!

• Listening to all my favorite albums (I obviously have a Spotify playlist of Frank Ocean, SZA, Noname, Kendrick Lamar, Lana Del Rey, Mac Miller, TV Girl and Hope Tala)

• Calling or FaceTiming an old friend 💗

• Listening to a guided meditation

• Sitting and reading at the park (and maybe watching boys skate while I’m there👀)

• An evening stroll (with a good hat) when it’s sprinkling out

• Looking at old photos

• Writing a letter to someone I love

• A clean room!

• Getting drinks with a pal

• A fresh mani-pedi (for my first manicure in 14 months, I got a neon lime green! Hellloooo, spring!)

• A good stretch (here’s my go-to!)

• Turning my phone off for a few hours

• Freshly laundered sheets

• A craft project (I’m impartial to knitting, sewing, and embroidering)

• A long, hot shower (or bath, if you’re into that)

• Putting on my comfiest sweatshirt and pajama pants after said long, hot shower

• A snuggle with a friendly kitty

• A fresh bagel on a Saturday morning

All right all right, you get the idea. Maybe the next time you’re feeling down, you can take a look at my list. Or even better, make your own!

I know this week’s newsletter isn’t especially insightful, but I hope you can still find it somewhat useful. Everybody has a down day every now and then. How do you remind yourself you’re that b*tch when you’re feeling low?

With that, here are a few picks to get you through the week:

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LISTEN:

• All of this week’s songs are on my go-to feel-good playlist! I’m a sucker for an uplifting alternative R&B-pop ditty, clearly.

• This is a funny one, but it really does help me to remember how beautiful this life is. You couldn't kill my vibe if you tried, man, there ain't no way!

• This song is absolutely one of my favorite things! It never fails to make me smile—and you just can’t help but sing along.

• I had to throw this one back in here for good measure! Live, love, Kali.

READ:

• The Cut: “Oh No, a White Self-Help Guru Has Some Thoughts on Privilege” - I’ve read Girl, Wash Your Face and I can’t say I hated it. I was, however, put off by the overly religious themes, and her baseless claims, like: “Burn more calories than you eat, and you’ll lose weight.” Yikes. This article’s deep-dive into the problematic figure that is Rachel Hollis’ most recent debacle is delicious. Enjoy!

• The New York Times Magazine: “My Child’s Egg Donor Is Latin American. Does That Make Him Latino?” - There’s nothing like a Times piece that makes you think! In college, I facilitated a class that taught students about how their own social identities (primarily race) place them in the world, and this piece reminds me so much of what I learned. Identity’s a sacred, crazy thing!

• The New York Times: “Keeping Love Close” - If you haven’t gotten a chance to explore this interactive set of photo essays written by Asian and Asian-American photographers, please do.

WATCH:

• Rio - Somehow, I just watched this for the first time? As much as I hate Jesse Eisenberg, this is so cute. Much love.

• Legally Blonde - Okay, I know it’s crazy, but… I just watched this movie for the first time, too. It was great. 😌

LAUGH:

wingtip @itswingtip

yeah so pfizer is more of a body high and moderna’s a little heady and better for like creativity and studying

gabe bergado @gabebergado

being vaccinated does NOT mean you can pretend to be your twin brother, get onto the school soccer team, and have the most popular girl start crushing on you while you yourself fall for your hot roommate

Stretch @stretchfchw

My great uncle, the first black college motivational speaker (1966)

LOVE:

• YOUNG LOVE Anecdote Candle - I’m currently obsessed with this sultry blackberry-rose candle. They have other great scents, like ADULTING, ASTROLOGICAL STORMING, BOTTOMLESS MIMOSAS, I’M SPEAKING, and more. Perfect for the Twenty-Something in your life!

• ANISA Beauty Treatment Tools Trio - This set is key to my morning and nightly routines. I like to do a little massage with the amethyst roller, apply product with the silicone drop, and de-puff my eyes with the zinc alloy tool.

• Dawn Platinum Powerwash Dish Spray - I feel silly putting this one in here, but it’s worth all the hype. Smells great, and makes this adult thing a little easier!

COOK:

• Shrimp Fried Rice - I can’t get enough of this recipe! Instead of corn and peas, I’ve been adding edamame and red cabbage. YUM!

• Vietnamese Summer Rolls - These are easier than they look, as it turns out! Once you get the hand of rolling them, you’re good to go. And as we know, I live for a recipe you can make your own.

CONSIDER:

I’m giving you this poem again because it’s truly one of my favorite things:

“Alternative Universe in Which I Am Unfazed by the Men Who Do Not Love Me” by Olivia Gatwood

When the businessman shoulder-checks me at the airport,
I do not apologize
Instead, I write him an elegy on the back of a receipt
and tuck it in his hand as I pass through the first class cabin
Like a bee, he will die after stinging me

I am 24 and have never cried
Once a boy told me he “doesn’t believe in labels”
so I embroidered the word “chauvinist”
on the back of his favorite coat
A boy said he liked my hair the other way
so I shaved my head instead of my pussy

While the boy isn’t calling back, I learn carpentry
build a desk, write a book at the desk
I taught myself to come from counting ceiling tiles

The boy says he prefers blondes
and I steam clean his clothes with bleach
The boy says I am not marriage material
and I put gravel in his pepper grinder
The boys says period sex is disgusting
and I slaughter a goat in his living room
The boy doesn’t ask if he can choke me
so I pretend to die while he is doing it

My mother says this is not the meaning of unfazed
When the boy says I curse too much to be pretty
and I tattoo “cunt” on my inner lip
my mother calls it “being very fazed”

But left over from the other universe
are hours and hours of waiting for him to kiss me
and here they are just hours.
Here they are a bike ride across Long Island in June
Here they are a novel read in one sitting
Here they are arguments about God or a full night’s sleep
Here I hand an hour to the woman crying outside of the bar
I leave one on my best friend’s front porch
Send my mother two in the mail

I do not slice his tires
I do not burn the photos
I do not write the letter
I do not beg
I do not ask for forgiveness
I do not hold my breath while he finishes

The man tells me he does not love me
and he does not love me
The man tells me who he is
and I listen
I have so much beautiful time

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Question of the week: What are you most grateful for?

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I lied! Next week’s newsletter is all about shooting your shot—I decided to give you all a little more time to share your stories with me! 😉 If you’re a Twenty-Something with a story about how you’ve taken a leap of faith in any capacity and you’d like to be included (anonymously) in next week’s newsletter, fill out the survey here. Much love!

Thank you endlessly for supporting me—it means more to me than you’ll ever know! I’m always looking to improve my work, so leave a comment or send me a message about what you want to read about in the next Dear Twenty-Somethings! I’m all ears.

Connect with me on Twitter, LinkedIn, Goodreads or online if you feel so inclined. And check out last week’s newsletter here in case you missed it.

If you liked what you read, send this newsletter to a friend! Heck, send it to 10 friends! Sending love and light to you, wherever you are. 🌟

Cheers & happy Wednesday! Indulge in your simple pleasures and I’ll see ya next week.

xoxoxo, Quinnie <3