Happy Wednesday and happy October, my Dearest Twenty-Somethings! Hope everyone’s hanging in there. This week, I’d like to chat about a little mantra I saw on an inspirational Instagram the other day: Old keys won’t open new doors. Okay, love!
Obviously, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since. As we know, I like to talk a lot about growth—what we notice about ourselves, what we strive for, and how to get where we want to be. A big part of our twenties, if you ask me! And of course, this mantra found me just when I needed it.
As we grow and stretch and morph and challenge ourselves, the doors will change, and so will we. In order to adapt to adulthood, healthy coping mechanisms and new ways of navigating this world are only natural. But it’s on us to embrace that growth. Throw away those old keys, baby!
I’ve mentioned this before, but I’ve always chosen to be passive-aggressive rather than telling people how I really feel, which I think is incredibly common, especially among young women. It’s seemingly easier to be quiet and complacent than it is to act with bravery and stand up for ourselves. I deeply admire people who speak their mind and don’t act out of fear or guilt—so why am I so afraid of confrontation? After all, we owe honesty to ourselves and to those around us.
Lately, I’ve been getting into the groove of telling people how I feel. Being unapologetically honest about what I deserve, what hurts me, and what I need. I had a difficult but empowering conversation with a friend recently about expectations and boundaries for our friendship, and you’d be surprised how well others are able to take our courageous truth when we believe in what we’re saying. (P.S. If they don’t accept your honesty, they don’t deserve your time or energy.) And let me tell you, the more you do it, the easier it becomes!
That’s just one of my new keys specially tailored to the new doors in my life of self-love, self-acceptance, and radical honesty. If we continue to act in the ways that have been holding us back‚ whether it be over-scheduling ourselves, not checking in with our own feelings, or avoiding confrontation at all costs, what opportunities are we giving ourselves for growth? Stop self-sabotaging yourself with old habits and be the person you want to be! Say it with me now: Grass grows where you water it. What are some keys you need to make for the new doors in your life?
I am the locksmith of my life and I deserve it all! Don’t let your past self dictate the path you’re carving for your future self. I find that I’m most often the one standing in my own way on the path of self-growth. Get out of the way, Q!
Now, for next week, I’d love your help answering the following question, which was submitted by one of you lovely Twenty-Somethings:
How do you pick yourself back up when you're feeling low? How do you find a sense of optimism when you're in a rut? Tell me here.
Anywho, enough from me. I’ve been listening to the HBO Girls soundtrack here—honestly, top 10 of all time. And with that, here are a few picks to get you through the week:
LISTEN:
READ:
The New York Times: “Who Is the Bad Art Friend?” - Okay, so this viral piece covers the case of two women writers who… got into a legal battle after one of them didn’t acknowledge the other’s kidney donation? Yes, it’s as weird as it sounds. It’s long, but almost worth the read.
New York Magazine’s The Intelligencer: “‘I Was Part of Something Unusually Evil’ - In Kansas with Stephanie Grisham, who does not believe she will be redeemed.” - So I’d hate to give this complacent (and unequivocally evil herself?) woman any more of a platform than she already has, but this former Trump aide has penned a forthcoming book all about how horrible he and his White House were—which I don’t doubt in the slightest. But also… really? Regardless, this is a good recap.
LAUGH:
FOLLOW:
New York Nico - The crush of my life and also NYC’s “unofficial talent scout,” Nico Heller, is an icon and an inspiration—he shares the stories of the kooky folks who make this city so great.
The Pulp Girls - Two sisters who make some pretty dope art, of course complete with good energy, inspirational quotes, and the cutest little critters.
Texts From Your Existentialist - A twist on “texts from your ex,” this account provides me with some much-needed comedic relief via texts on old paintings. What’s not to love?
CONSIDER:
Affirmation of the week: I can survive even my greatest fears.
Question of the week: What have your most recent friendships taught you?
Thank you all for reading this week’s newsletter! I’m always looking to improve my work, so leave a comment, send me a message, or fill out this form to tell me about what you want to read about in upcoming Dear Twenty-Somethings! I’m all ears. Connect with me on Twitter, LinkedIn, Goodreads or online if you feel so inclined. And check out last week’s newsletter here in case you missed it.
If you liked what you read, send this newsletter to a friend! Heck, send it to 10 friends! Sending love and light to you, wherever you are. 🌟
Cheers & happy Wednesday! Stay well.
xoxoxo, Quinnie <3