Discover more from Dear Twenty-Somethings
All That Glitters...✨
The twenties aren't always pretty.
Happy Wednesday, my beautiful Twenty-Somethings! I hope you’re all doing as well as can be given the horrific state of the world.
This week, I want to talk about the ugly parts of our twenties, how we deal with them, and what that means for us and our personal growth.
I’ve talked about dealing with the bad days in the past, but more specifically, this week I’d like to talk about how we deal with the exhaustion and rejection of our youth (dramatic, I know). When the glow of the shiny, new, exciting adult life wears off—yes, that’s where I’m at right now—how do you deal? How do you keep going when you know this is quite literally the rest of your life?
Now, there is so much to be excited about in our young adult lives, and I’m normally blissed out on all there is this life has to offer. Life is what you make of it, and you get out what you put in. But that doesn’t mean we have to be happy-go-lucky all the time.
Bills and rent and responsibilities and all that… look, freedom is fun and I possess more privilege than I’ll ever know, but damn, it’s also exhausting. Something I’ve learned in my ~early twenties~ is that taking care of myself is a full-time job. Adding pets and staying tidy and ensuring you’re well exercised and fed and moisturized… I mean, sheesh! And, of course, to all the caretakers out there—working moms especially—I salute you and I can’t imagine juggling everything that’s on your plate.
I’ve come to learn that young adulthood is really just learning how to deal with rejection—a whole lot of it. Relationships and jobs and apartments and other opportunities come and go, and us Participation Trophy kids might not be ready to take what it is at face value.
So, is it only going to get harder? Or do we just get better at juggling?
I don’t have all the answers in the universe and I don’t know what life is like past 23. What I do know, however, is that we need to be easy on ourselves. Rest and breaks and space are not just wellness guru suggestions, they’re necessities.
Like most things, this is far easier said than done.
As college students or recent grads, us Twenty-Somethings have been taught that the rat race is the norm. It’s glorified, normalized, and even encouraged. When we look around at others, it can feel like we’re miles behind and we need to do all we can to catch up. But girl, that’s not how we win the game of life!
I’m a person (ahem, Virgo) who thrives on a busy schedule, always adding on more tasks and responsibilities, sometimes to the point that I overcommit myself without even realizing it. I’ve been running on fumes lately and, of course, I’m now sick, exhausted, and ready for a break. It can feel good to be productive and move 100 miles per hour, but it’s crucial to check in with your body, your mind and your spirit about what it is you truly need.
Never feel guilty for: Saying no to plans when you’re tired. Asking to reschedule. Choosing yourself and your own peace. Being honest with how you feel and what you’re struggling with. Choosing a solo reading night over a night with your gals.
Trust me when I say setting boundaries is self-care.
Your brain quite literally needs sleep and rest to operate—and to neglect your body is to neglect your goals. (It also needs food and water and stimulation among several other things that we ought to prioritize!) Healthy habits lead to growth. And after all, what you water grows, baby!
For everyone who needs it: Let this serve as a reminder to give yourself a damn break.
I hope we can all find beauty in the monotony of this life! It can be draining squeezing every drop out of our twenties, but learning the balance is half the fun, isn’t it? Take care of yourself. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Make sure you allow yourself the time and space you need. Always.
Look, I can preach all day, but I need to learn to take my own advice. This feels like as good a time as any to let you all know I’ll be going on a short hiatus from Dear Twenty-Somethings from June through August—you know how much I love summer—where I’ll be giving myself the rest I need. I hope to come back in September energized, revitalized, and ready to give you all what you came for. Look out for a survey from me in your inbox at some point so we can together imagine the future of this newsletter. I hope you all know how much your support means to me.
And with that, here are a few picks to get you through the week:
Musings & Perspectives - This is one of my favorite e-newsletters all about living your best, most productive and most fulfilling life. Enjoy!
The New York Times: “It’s a Home in Brooklyn. What Could It Cost? $100,000?” - This headline quite honestly made my week. This NYC mayoral candidate, who also served as housing secretary under President Obama and housing commissioner under Mayor Bloomberg, actually said this. In all seriousness. You can’t make this stuff up!
Intelligencer: “U.S. Discourse Is Growing More Pro-Palestinian. U.S. Policy Isn’t.” - Great read. Education is power, baby!
Some extra laughs this week for those of us who need it!
Vicks VapoShower Bomb - Obviously this is a sick girly buy, but wow. It cleared my sinuses like no other. Couldn’t recommend more!
The Sill - I love using this online plant shop to send plants in the cutest pots to my pals—and luckily, they’ve returned the favor! There’s no better gift, in my humble opinion.
Warm Steam Vaporizer - Another sick girly buy, but I might start incorporating it into my routine. My skin needed this drink of hydration!
“Waiting for Happiness” by Nomi Stone
Dog knows when friend will come home
because each hour friend’s smell pales,
air paring down the good smell
with its little diamond. It means I miss you
O I miss you, how hard it is to wait
for my happiness, and how good when
it arrives. Here we are in our bodies,
ripe as avocados, softer, brightening
with latencies like a hot, blue core
of electricity: our ankles knotted to our
calves by a thread, womb sparking
with watermelon seeds we swallowed
as children, the heart again badly hurt, trying
and failing. But it is almost five says
the dog. It is almost five.
Question of the week: Ask yourself honestly: Do you need a break?!
Thank you endlessly for supporting me—it means more to me than you’ll ever know! I’m always looking to improve my work, so leave a comment or send me a message about what you want to read about in the next Dear Twenty-Somethings! I’m all ears.
If you liked what you read, send this newsletter to a friend! Heck, send it to 10 friends! Sending love and light to you, wherever you are. 🌟
Cheers & happy Wednesday! Stay well and I’ll see y’all next week for our last newsletter before my summer break.
xoxoxo, Quinnie <3
I rely on word of mouth to grow my newsletter. Do you know a Twenty-Something who would benefit from this quick read? Maybe an ex, a niece, or a neighbor? Why not send it their way? Much love always!