*Who* Do You Want to Be? š
And how does it differ from who you wanted to be growing up?
Happy Wednesday, my beautiful Twenty-Somethings! I hope youāre all doing just peachy and that Motherās Day (& Benniferās reunion) treated you well. Gotta love Taurus season!
This week, I want to ask you all a question: As a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
Maybe it was a doctor, a vet, a firefighter, a gymnastāyou get it. I vividly remember telling my daycare lady deadpan: I want to be a fairy princess. Aw, baby Quinn!
Oftentimes when kids are asked what they want to be, they think of what profession they want to be, centering career aspirations, rather than everything else that creates a whole human being. This is clearly telling of societal values, but we donāt need to go there just yet. I do, however, wish there had been more of an emphasis on who we wanted to be, rather than what, way back when.
Because that, my friends, is still a question us Twenty-Somethings are grappling with. Iāve talked about figuring out your values in the past, but my Zennials, weāre not even grown up yet! When do we actually reach that milestone? Is it when we peak in our careers? Reach personal fulfillment? Buy our first cast iron pan? Say no to drinks with friends?
Okay Iām only kind of kidding, but itās times like these I have to remind myself weāre all on our own paths. It may not be linear, but weāll get there!
When I grow up, I want to be a kind, loving, inclusive, brave woman who doesnāt care what others think of her. I hope to be transparent and fearless and an advocate for all. I canāt help but think 8-year-old me was probably more focused on being cool and pretty, but thereās been a lot of growth between then and now.
But, you know what? Iām pretty sure of one thing:
Dear Reader: In what ways have you lived up to or shifted from who you wanted to be when you were a younginā? And who do you want to be today when you ~grow up~?
If youāre not happy with who you are just yet, you have all the time in the world to become who you want to be. Because nothing is more important than today! Itās never too late to ask yourself who you want to be and to then make it happen. And if you need a little help aligning your priorities to your values, check out this exercise.
As Twenty-Somethings, we still have the opportunity to do whatever it is in this life that we want to do as we carve our chosen paths. And the sooner you make that switch to be the person you want to be or do the thing youāve always wanted to do, the sooner youāll be glad you did.
For every great decision Iāve ever madeāfrom cutting off a toxic friend to buying myself flowers every week to moisturizing post-showerāI only wish Iād done it sooner. So, as Iāve asked before: What are you waiting for?
Water the plants in your life that matter most to you. Enjoy the little things that bring you bliss. Root for the other team. Squeeze every drop out of your twenties as you possibly can. And, most importantly, shoot your shot!
And just because I felt this tweet was so damn relevant:
With that, here are a few picks to get you through the week:
LISTEN:
READ:
The Cut: āBeige Ambition: Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen grew up to make New Yorkās most desirable clothes. But can even perfection survive the pandemic?ā - The Row has always been wild to me. But here we are! Great read, check it out.
The New Yorker: āIām a Person of Color and Everyone Is Suddenly Interested in MeāSomething Bad Must Have Happenedā - Oof. A funny, poignant recount of being a woman of color in 2021. White people, take a gander.
Medium: āLetās talk about Justin Bieberās hairā - One of my fave writers isnāt happy about Justin Bieberās locs. Cāmon, Biebz!
LAUGH:
LOVE:
Trunk Show Revival - I bought these incredible disco ball dangly earrings from the cutest little vintage shop. Check āem out!
Billini Tortoise Shell Shoulder Bag - Currently obsessed with this teeny bag I got at one of my fave shops the other week. Anyone have any tips on how to stop buying purses I donāt need? No one? Word.
Prosperity Candle - You didnāt think Iād go a week without getting another candle, did you? Iām usually not huge on warmer scents, but the vanilla-almond-orchid energy on the Queen candle is just too homey.
COOK:
CONSIDER:
Giving you this excerpt again, because itās the best ever and everyone needs to read it:
āMen always say that as the defining compliment, donāt they? Sheās a cool girl.Ā Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like sheās hosting the worldās biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, becauseĀ Cool Girls are above all hot.Ā Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I donāt mind, Iām the Cool Girl.
āMen actually think this girl exists. Maybe theyāre fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl.Ā For a long time Cool Girl offended me. I used to see men ā friends, coworkers, strangers ā giddy over these awful pretender women, and Iād want to sit these men down and calmly say:Ā You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men whoād like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them.Ā Iād want to grab the poor guy by his lapels or messenger bag and say: The bitch doesnāt really love chili dogs that much ā no one loves chili dogs that much! And the Cool Girls are even more pathetic:Ā Theyāre not even pretending to be the woman they want to be, theyāre pretending to be the woman a man wants them to be.Ā Oh, and if youāre not a Cool Girl, I beg you not to believe that your man doesnāt want the Cool Girl. It may be a slightly different version āĀ maybe heās a vegetarian, so Cool Girl loves seitan and is great with dogs; or maybe heās a hipster artist, so Cool Girl is a tattooed, bespectacled nerd who loves comics.Ā There are variations to the window dressing, but believe me, he wants Cool Girl, who is basically the girl who likes every fucking thing he likes and doesnāt ever complain. (How do you know youāre not Cool Girl? Because he says things like:Ā āI like strong women.āĀ If he says that to you, he will at some point fuck someone else. Because āI like strong womenā is code for āI hate strong women.ā)āĀ -Ā Gone GirlĀ by Gillian Flynn
Question of the week: What traits do you most admire in others?
Thank you endlessly for supporting meāit means more to me than youāll ever know! Iām always looking to improve my work, so leave a comment or send me a message about what you want to read about in the next Dear Twenty-Somethings! Iām all ears.
Connect with me onĀ Twitter,Ā LinkedIn,Ā GoodreadsĀ orĀ onlineĀ if you feel so inclined. And check out last weekās newsletterĀ hereĀ in case you missed it.
If you liked what you read, send this newsletter to a friend! Heck, send it to 10 friends! Sending love and light to you, wherever you are. š
Cheers & happy Wednesday! Stay well and Iāll see yāall next week.
xoxoxo, Quinnie <3
Needed this one BIG TIME this week š„µ Always coming in HOT with the realest advice my love